Not All Women Who Work Offshore Are Gonna Steal Your Man

Trust me, I would know. If you haven't read any of my earlier posts I am a woman who works in the oilfield, on a rotational basis, just like your man. Yes I may get hit on by your man, even those that are married. No, I am not interested in him, nor his money. I have my own, thank you. We all do. 

If a woman who does work in the industry is dumb enough to risk her job (and her life if you are one crazy a$$ chick like most oilfield wives are and rightfully should be) she is NOT even THINKING about doing the dirty with a married man twice her age that has 4 kids and another on the way at home. We are women too, we understand what you go through at home and what a heavy weight it would be on our conscience to be that homewrecker.

 It is a small world in the offshore industry, we all know one mistake like that and we can kiss our namesake and reputation (that we work so hard to build) "goodbye" as it walks the plank off the rig and into the deep blue sea. And we know ain't nobody jumping at the chance to save that reputation either. Anything that sparks up good conversation on the rig is going to get blown up, by anyone and everyone with a mouth. Ever played the game telephone in kindergarten where the phrase "I like your hair" turned into "purple chickens pooped in Jennie's backyard?" The rumor mill on oil rigs is just like that, except a little more vicious and a whole lot more immature. 

It's a cruel, cruel world for us women out there, it takes twice as much time and effort to prove ourselves and our skills.So if you think your married husband with more baggage than Lindsay Lohan's eyes after a heavy night of partying is going to make us drop everything we have ever worked for, you are thinking down the wrong path, girl. 

Now I can say I have seen and heard some of these things happen before and I am not speaking on the behalf of the women who chose to steer their lives down that road. More often times than not, women who work offshore are there for their own families and their own well-being. Not to find themselves a married oilfield man. No girl who is asked "what do you want to be when you grow up?" Is going to respond with "a homewrecker!" 

If you think there are things in your relationship that may make him want to cheat, I can only give so much advice on those things (see my previous blurb about 5 tips for offshore relationships). But if you think you are losing him and you don't want that, talk to him about it, see what you both can do to improve on it. I am just writing this to assure you that 99% of women in the oilfield are NOT going to move in on your property if you have a few bumps in the road before he leaves home. So if that thought has ever crossed your mind because you know your man works with a female on his rig you can sleep easy, my friend. Plus, there is a 1 in 200 chance that, if you manage to come across the 1% of women who would be insane enough to do anything like that, she is going to set her sights on YOUR husband or boyfriend. Most likely it will be a man who is single, and proven single, no girls on his Facebook or Instagram account, not even a trace of you. Not sure if that helps but that just narrowed your chances down even more.

 Just remember it takes two to tango.  

 Keep Calm and OWC On, Ladies!

Xo Lexi

Offshore Wives Club Founder

Top 5 Tips For Offshore Wives and Girlfriends

After working offshore for over 2 years now, I have seen and heard a lot, helping me to understand a few key points to keep in mind when you are in any kind of relationship with an offshore worker. 

• Understand If He has to Work Over

I have worked in all sorts of environments, including West Africa, where schedules don't go as planned most often than not. Remember it is NOT his choice to miss that vacation you planned out four months ago, he wants to be on that sandy beach with a drink in his hand as much as you do. But unless he wants to lose his job and only source of income, if his relief dosen't show, or the helicopter is down for maintenance, or rig move took longer than planned there's not much that he, or you for that matter can do about it. Just be understanding and supportive when you have him on the phone, you can save the cussing and dish throwing for later. 

• Don't Blow Up His Email or Facebook and Get Angry if he Dosen't Do the Same

This one is pretty obvious but it is east to forget that he isn't out for a night on the town with his boys, he is at WORK. Keeping his phone attached to his hip when he is on tour is both dangerous and against most companies policies for workers to keep their phones during the day, plus the rig floor or wherever he may be most often dosen't have wifi. That being said, by the time he knocks off, eats, goes to the gym (or not), showers, and gets in bed, he has already been up for 16 hours and just wants to sleep. But by the grace of God he somehow finds the time to get on the internet, link up to wifi (which sometimes takes another half hour in itself) , and emails you. It may just be one email or message but it is still him saying hey, I'm fine, life is good and I love you and can't wait to see you. Which is all he has been thinking about all day but dosent have the strength or energy to write ALL about the thoughts he had that day, or else he wouldn't sleep. Just be happy hearing from him once or twice a day, because that is about the only amount of time that even I have to write home without being a zombie the next day. 

• Keep All Bad News for His Time Home

Now this is a hard one, ask any man offshore the last thing he wants to hear is that a pipe burst in the kitchen and flooded the whole first floor. You need to be independent when he is not there, and take care of things like these on your own. Call the plumber, go to the store and buy some buckets and mops and clean it up girl. You got this. Tell him about it the next day when all is said and done, just to warn him about the charges on his card from the plumber, trust me he will be much happier that you DIDN'T tell him about it than if you did. 

Why? That's an easy one. Because you don't want him thinking about it all day when he is working the next day. You don't want him thinking "I wonder how bad the house looks" or "Do I trust this plumber guy who's about to enter my house with my sexy wife in it?" It takes his mind off the job which can not only put his life at risk but his co-workers' as well. 

That being said FAMILY EMERGENCIES are ok if he is needed at home and you need him off the rig. A death in the family or serious illness is something everyone understands in the offshore industry, because we've all been through it as well. But even if one of your youngsters falls at cheerleading practice and breaks her arm, tell daddy all about it once you've been to the hospital and she has had some time to calm down. Freaking out and putting his life at risk is not something you think about in the moment, trust me I know, but it is real and it does happen. 

• DO NOT SPEND ALL HIS MONEY

I can't stress this one enough. I know it's easy to get carried away when you see six figures a year coming through your bank account but for the love of God there is no reason to have to blow through 7k or more a month consistently. If you really want that Gucci purse, Chanel makeup, or those Louboutins ASK when he is home, it will feel much better coming as a gift than just because you had a splurge day. 

If you have kids, it is obviously understandable that you are going to spend more, but there is still a fine line between getting them what they NEED and what they WANT. I am not a parent so I cannot comment too much on this. Yes your kids deserve the moon and stars but if that racecar bed that little Joey wanted for President's Day clears out daddy's bank account, he definitely won't be a happy camper when he comes home and has no money for that hunting lease he had been dreaming of for the last 21 days. 

The point is, the job he holds is not an easy one, most guys don't just do it for fun. They do it for you and your family. So give him a chance to reap the benefits of his hard work by saving some money for him to play with when he gets back. If you can't handle it get your OWN job and spend your OWN money (or try a work from home deal if you are a mom) I have seen WAY too many relationships and marriages RUINED because of "her spending habits" when he is gone. The paycheck hitting on the 31st and back to broke on the 2nd. I will write a longer blurb on the do's and don'ts of spending his money to elaborate more on this, but until then stick to discount stores, online shopping, and Wal-Mart for necessities. (It's ok to splurge at Target aka "Tar-jay" in fancy talk every now and then). Steer clear of the high end stores and plastic surgeons (at least until you get his advice on the new nose or set of girls).

• BE THE GIRL HE FELL IN LOVE WITH

All the time. All day. Every day. Whether he is there or not. Be strong and independent. My motto is simple yet difficult to follow some days:

"No man wants to be with a woman more stressful than his job is"

You don't want him to get off tour procrastinating to turn on his phone or computer. Don't harp on him while he's gone. Don't yell at him on the phone, don't get mad if he doesn't call or write one day. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, he just may have had to work over that day, or the internet is down, or the line for the phone was too long. Remember that he does not have as much time off as you do. He becomes a machine out there: Eat. Sleep. Work. Repeat for 3-4 weeks. It's a different world that you physically cannot understand until you spend a hitch in his shoes. So in his time off tour be his escape, be happy, supportive, and positive when he calls, even if you had a crap day. It's the best thing you can do for him and ultimately yourself, and your relationship a as a whole. 

Just remember when things get rough Keep Calm and OWC on! Tune in for more and share with your OWC friends!

Xo Lexi

Offshore Wives Club Founder